Marriage is a wonderful, exciting thing. It's so great to spend every day with the one person you love the most in the entire world. To watch a movie or share a laugh - you know the little things that make our bond tighter and special - are the things I live for. I love sitting next to him and he reaches over and rubs my back briefly or kisses my cheek for no reason other than he loves me.
But marriage is hard. It takes work - some days more than others. Yesterday was one of those days. And I realize after arguing for what seems like hours that I have no idea how it even started. I just remember how I felt.
I was searching online for anger quotes - something to validate my feelings. You know how sometimes you just want that pat on the back going - yup you should be mad. You go! And you look for something to feed that anger - to keep you in that place because you deserve it.
But instead, this jumped out at me: A perfect relationship is not that you never get angry, upset, or irritated with each other; it's how fast you resolve and bounce to normal.
I hear you, God. I see what you did there...
So I immediately felt remorse, guilt, and sadness - because anger and resentment are dangerous feelings when not dealt with properly. Also, I love this man. Why would I want to build a wall between he and I? I don't. I'll admit - I'm stubborn and hate admitting fault. Harboring feelings that could rip us apart or even just damage us longer than normal is counterproductive.
I knew what I had to do. Swallow my pride and make things right in our marriage.
So I sent him a text with three of my favorite words: I love you. And then three just as important words in a marriage: I am sorry.
And it's amazing how quickly those hurt feelings go away. The burden of anger was immediately lifted from my heart. Almost a physical feeling.
Then, seeing my favorite words sent back to me: "I love you". And then, "I am sorry too". Those words replaced the hurt and the sadness I had felt earlier.
See, I am learning that marriage is a fantastic union. But it's not an easy one. Every day isn't fun. Every day isn't always sunshine. Just like the weather, it can be unpredictable. Rain and clouds come and ruin the parade - but it doesn't last forever and the sun eventually comes out.
I am honored to have married my best friend. I am so glad that we can resolve and bounce back to normal. Focusing on what keeps us together is the most important thing.
Marriage is: Love, Respect, Trust, Communication, and most definitely, Forgiveness.
