In January, I settled into a one bedroom apartment on the main street of town. It was small, but it had some nice features, and was fairly quiet other than the occasional train whistle from the nearby station. Samson (my cat) and I were fairly content. I'd go to work, come home and watch Netflix and work on my comprehensive exam that was looming over my head for schooling.
Occasionally, I would go to the local military club that I am a member of, and have a few beers after a long day at work. I started to notice that there was a guy that was bartending there certain nights of the week that was always smiling, kinda of flirty, very attractive, and nice to everyone there. Of course, I was drawn to him instantly. I began asking the people around me about this guy... and then finally got the nerve up to talk to him:
Me: Hey. You got a girlfriend? (I know... classic, right?)
Him: Yes. (I appreciated the honesty, really.)
Me: Oh. Well that sucks. Well if you ever become single, and you're interested, let me know.
Him: *smiles* Ok.
Later on that month, I was having a drink at the local pub and I felt someone's hand tickle the back of my neck. It was him! The bartender from the military club! And he touched me! So I turned around and I said, Oh wow it's you! He looked at me and said, yes. And I wanted to find you and let you know that I am here just to tell you I am single now. I am pretty sure my cheeks flushed immediately.
Anyhow.. we've been inseparable ever since. He has become my best friend and soulmate. Someone I never want to fall asleep or wake up without. We now have a beautiful apartment together. I'm going to have a step-daughter, whom I absolutely love and adore. The wedding is planned for May 2017.
That was what was good about 2016.
But 2016 was filled with a lot of tragedy. It was the year that Hollywood stars were called home one by one. Robin Williams, David Bowie, Prince, Carrie Fisher (yes! Princess Leia!), George Michael, Florence Henderson, Gene Wilder, Anton Yelchin (from the new Star Trek movies), Muhammad Ali, Chyna, and Harper Lee - just to touch the surface. Although news reporters are saying that this year has not created a record of celebrity deaths - it just seems more because there are more "A-List" stars in 2016. Very sad, indeed.
But the greatest tragedy of all was discovering in November that my cousin has succumbed to his addiction and was found deceased in Baltimore. The grief of losing someone to something like heroin is something you cannot possibly describe. It's something that I will never forget. He is someone that will never be forgotten and will always be loved.
As we know, grief has several stages: 1. Denial and isolation; 2. Anger; 3. Bargaining; 4. Depression; 5. Acceptance.
Yet, when you grieve someone from an addiction - it's weird because I find myself being angry a lot more than the other stages. I'm angry at the drug culture that surrounds our area. I'm angry because there is so much to be done, but I don't know where to start. I'm angry because even when people get help they still slip. That slip can either be ok or fatal... and so can the next slip. And the next. Then it's no longer a slip. It's back to business as usual. Why can't more be done about the clearly present epidemic of heroin and opioids in this country? I'm appalled at the lack of concern. I'm disgusted when people think it's ok. It's not ok!
It's not ok that my uncle had to bury his only son. No one should bury their child. No one. And it's not ok that the people who enabled and called him a friend were not there the day of his memorial.. but would show up at a drop of a hat to get high. I'm disgusted. Know who your friends are... friends care about you. Those types of people are not friends. They will use you and sell you out to save themselves.
Please, if you know someone abusing prescription drugs or using heroin, get them help. So what if they get mad at you. It could just save their life.
American Addiction Centers:
